You Know What, Will Smith? Suck It.

or,

A Karate Kid Remake? Seriously?

Okay, so it looks like Will Smith's production company is going to be remaking The Karate Kid, with Smith's son Jaden (The Pursuit of Happyness) in the titular role, and Jackie Chan as Mr Miyagi (some details here).

Um... why?

Is this what happens when a mega-rich movie star who can do essentially whatever the hell he wants runs out of birthday gift ideas?

1. INT. CASTLE MADE OF GOLD OVERLOOKING HOLLYWOOD, EVENING

WILL SMITH and his son JADEN SMITH are eating unicorn-bacon for breakfast, when Will puts down his magic rasher and crosses his hands under his chin.

WILL

Yo, J-Dizzle, whatchoo want for yo' birthday?

JADEN

I dunno, Dad.

WILL

Your own private jet?

JADEN

Nah.

WILL

A tropical island?

JADEN

Nope.

WILL

Your own underground network of hobo-fighting rings?

JADEN

I already got one of those!

WILL

Come on, man. What do you really want?

Jaden jumps onto the kitchen table precociously, and strikes a martial arts pose.

JADEN

I wanna be the Karate Kid!

WILL

Cool. I can make that happen.

I mean... for fuck's sake.